1. Manchester United (W, 4-0 vs. Swansea)
Current place in table: 1st
Last week’s ranking: 1st (+/- 0)
This score line is actually a bit misleading. Swansea defended very well for 80 minutes of the game and only trailed by 1, and then were picked apart once they started to push numbers forward. United then added 3 more. Again, it was Lukaku, Pogba, Mkhitaryan, and Martial leading the way. It’s definitely an exciting time to be a United fan, but it has still only been two weeks. Mourinho’s side will get their first real test against a rejuvenated Leicester team next week.
2. Manchester City (D, 1-1 vs. Everton)
Current place in table: 5th
Last week’s ranking: 2nd (+/- 0)
It’s not the worst result in the world by any means, and not enough to knock them down in the rankings just yet, but City will be very disappointed to only take a point at home vs. Everton. Sure, Everton may be a more dangerous team than in the past few seasons, but when you spend $283 million in a single transfer window on top of the quality you already have, you no longer have the excuse of tying teams outside the top 6 at home. Period. Also, shut the hell up with the Messi to Manchester City bullshit. Not happening.
3. Chelsea (W, 2-1 vs. Tottenham)
Current place in table: 12th
Last week’s ranking: 4th (+1)
Quick take on the Diego Costa – Antonio Conte drama. Wanted to write an entire article on this but too lazy. We all know Diego Costa is a child and a lot of the blame can be put on him for this ugly situation I’m sure. But what people seem to not realize is that Antonio Conte is also a child. I’ve never seen someone get so easily triggered by reporters’ questions when things don’t go his way. He gets asked a completely valid question about the situation and what does he do? Breaks out the most fake hysterical laugh of all time. And for some reason everyone else in the room and all of social media thought it was hilarious. It wasn’t. It maybe warranted a slight snicker at most. Yet Conte gets so obviously gets triggered by this question and since he can’t answer it in a mature way like most managers would, he fake laughs his way out of it.
Anyway, good win by Chelsea. Is Marcos Alonso actually good or is he just lucky? I always doubt his abilities yet he keeps proving me wrong but pulling games like this out of his ass. A defense that was in shambles last week vs. Burnley rebounded very well. I think Morata will need some time to adjust to the PL, as most strikers do, but once he does, he’ll replace Costa easily. Not to mention, Hazard hasn’t played a single minute yet.
4. Tottenham (L, 1-2 vs. Chelsea)
Current place in table: 10th
Last week’s ranking: 3rd (-1)
They say a ball shot low, hard, and at the goalkeeper’s feet is sometimes the most difficult shot to save. Or maybe just Hugo Lloris says that. Kick save my guy, kick save. Realistically, this game could’ve ended up in a Tottenham win just as easy. Chelsea took advantage of their chances and Spurs didn’t, plain and simple. I will say this though. Eriksen sure can kick a footy. You know you played in a good ball when the own goal is an absolute class finish.
5. Everton (D, 1-1 vs. Manchester City)
Current place in table: 8th
Last week’s ranking: 8th (+3)
At what point do we start calling Wayne Rooney, Sir Wayne Rooney. Alan Shearer finally has a friend in the 2 hundo club. But on a serious note, the way Rooney has scored both his goals for Everton imply that he may have just found his old form again. Good movement off the ball, a flash of speed to get into open space, and a composed finish. It won’t get any easier for Everton this upcoming week though. A mid-week Europe League play-off game followed by Chelsea away on Sunday. Another result would make a huge statement to the rest of the league.
6. Leicester City (W, 2-0 vs. Brighton)
Current place in table: 9th
Last week’s ranking: (+/- 0)
Not much to say here, Leicester took care of Brighton pretty easily, as they should have. Rumors continue to circulate about Mahrez’s future at the club. The potential of this team throughout the season will rely heavily on what happens in the remaining 10 days of the transfer window. The one thing that stood out to me about this game is that Brighton actually out-possessed Leicester, which goes to show that Leicester really do live and die on the counter-attack. They’re going to need to execute that approach to the fullest in their upcoming game vs. Manchester United.
7. Liverpool (W, 1-0 vs. Crystal Palace)
Current place in table: 6th place
Last week’s ranking: 7th (+/- 0)
Good news: Liverpool won and allowed 0 goals off set pieces, and more importantly 0 goals in total. Bad news: it took them 73 minutes to break through against a very very weak Crystal Palace side that allowed 3 goals to Huddersfield Town just last week. It goes without saying that the addition of Coutinho in the starting XI can make the difference in these types of games. Liverpool were the deserved winners no doubt, but this definitely doesn’t appear to be a team with a whole lot of confidence and swagger at the moment.
Current place in table: 11th
Last week’s rankings: 5th (-3)
In all fairness, Arsenal probably deserved at least a point out of this game, but some controversial calls said otherwise. Still, it’s a nerve-wracking time to be an Arsenal fan. You can’t tell me the uncertainty of Sanchez and Ozil’s futures (who very much do not want to be Arsenal players anymore) doesn’t have a week-to-week effect on team morale. Time to cut your losses and move on. MASSIVE game next week against Liverpool, who are in a very similar boat.
9. Southampton (W, 3-2 vs. Swansea)
Current place in table: 7th
Last week’s ranking: 9th (+/- 0)
Easily the best game of the week here. Probably shouldn’t have been as much of a nail-biter as it was considering Southampton were a man up for a majority of the game, but a late penalty kick conversion from Charlie Austin saved the day. Also, in case you’re wondering who the most underrated striker in the Prem is, his name is the Italian Stallion Manolo Gabbiadini.
10. Watford (W, 2-0 vs. Bournemouth)
Current place in table: 4th
Last week’s ranking: 12th (+2)
Another great result for Watford, and Etienne Capoue with arguably the goal of the week. 5 goals, 2 games. They don’t seem to be missing Troy Deeney just yet.
11. Huddersfield (W, 1-0 vs. Newcastle)
Current place in table: 2nd
Last week’s ranking: 10th (-1)
DO NOT SLEEP ON THE TERRIERS. Should we expect this team to be Leicester 2.0? No, definitely not. Should we expect this team to be finish top half of the table and maybe even contend for a Europa League spot? Honestly…maybe. I know the competition has been weak (Crystal Palace and Newcastle), but these wins have been no fluke. This team has some talent in it’s starting XI. Last week, it was Steve Mounie impressing. This week it was the Aussie, Aaron Mooy. They will get a real test next week against Southampton.
12. West Brom (W, 1-0 vs. Burnley)
Current place in table: 3rd
Last week’s ranking: 11th (-1)
It’s been a positive start for West Brom, and they current sit 3rd in the table, but a pair of 1-0 wins over Bournemouth and West Brom make it difficult for me to put them any higher than 12th in the rankings. Hal Robson-Kanu had himself an eventful 2nd half, subbing on in the 63′, scoring the winner in the 71′, and then said screw it, I’ve done my job here and got sent off in the 83′ after a very blatant elbow to the head.
13. Stoke City (W, 1-0 vs. Arsenal)
Current place in table: 14th
Last week’s ranking: 15th (+2)
After this past week, it’s Stoke 1 – West Ham 0. The sale of Arnautobitch and the purchase of Jese, who was the difference maker vs. Arsenal, looks brilliant. Jese could turn out to be an extremely dangerous threat for Stoke moving forward if he starts to gain some confidence. He’s always had serious talent, but may have simply never been given the proper opportunity at Madrid and PSG.
14. West Ham (L, 2-3 vs. Southampton)
Current place in table: 20th
Last week’s ranking: 13th (-1)
Andddd on the other side of things, we have West Ham who have to be absolutely furious with what they’ve seen so far out of Marko Anautobitch. Slaven Bilic continues to dig himself into a bigger hole, although I don’t necessarily believe the team’s misfortunes last year and early this year are his fault at all. Either way, sometimes you just gotta hit the reset button. The good news for West Ham is Chicharito scored his first two goals of the campaign, in the most typical Chicharito fashion ever.
15. Burnley (L, 0-1 vs. West Brom)
Current place in table: 13th
Last week’s rankings: 14th (-1)
Back to reality for Burnley this week. They were reminded that it’s tough to win in this league when your opponent doesn’t play like a middle school modified soccer team for a half. Sam Vokes was fantastic yet again though, and continues to prove that he is one of the most underappreciated players in the Prem.
16. Newcastle (L, 0-1 vs. Huddersfield)
Current place in table: 17th
Last week’s rankings: 16th (+/- 0)
This one had to hurt for Newcastle. You lose Jonjo Shelvey to suspension, and then allow the winning goal to be scored by a guy who looks more like Jonjo Shelvey than Jonjo Shelvey himself. Bald power baby.
17. Bournemouth (L, 0-2 vs. Watford)
Current place in table: 16th
Last week’s ranking: 17th (+/- 0)
I had my expectations set high for Bournemouth this season, but it’s been a disappointing start so far. Having City up next, Bournemouth cannot be happy to have taken 0 points away from their first 2.
18. Swansea (L, 0-4 vs. Manchester United)
Current place in table: 15th
Last week’s ranking: 19th (+1)
Despite the score, it was actually a decent performance from Swansea. Ayew hit the crossbar early on, and they were able to generate another decent chance or two that they couldn’t capitalize on. Their team defense was extremely organized for 80 minutes or so. Swansea should look to take the positives away from this game, because there were a few.
19. Brighton & Hove Albion (L, 0-2 vs. Leicester City)
Current place in table: 18th
Last week’s ranking: 18th (-1)
Keep flyin’ keep tryin’ Seagulls.
20. Crystal Palace (L, 0-1 vs. Liverpool)
Current place in table: 20th (+/- 0)
Last week’s ranking: 20th
Not a good soccer team at the moment.
Til next week dawgs